When I received the LDB’s form letter response to us craft beer nerds’ request to include our favourite amber ambrosia in the Bring Your Own Bottle initiative (read it here if you haven’t), I put it down as a symptom of the “wine is better than beer” culture that pervades… well… pretty much everyone. To them, great craft beer can never be as good as a great wine, and they don’t want to pollute fine dining establishments with the swarms of yahoos that will, no doubt, flood in with six packs of Coors Light Iced Tea should they have added “beer” to this legislation.
However, I had no idea just how far they’re willing to take this wine-over-beer mentality. The LCLB recently issued a policy directive, updating the interested parties around the province on how they’d like this new law to be observed. Nothing weird there, policy directives are pretty standard practise from the LCLB because the underlying law is just too complex and poorly written for any person to read and remain sane.
For anyone curious, here is that policy.
For anyone too lazy to read that 1.5 page document, it lays out some of the more mundane details around letting folk waltz into your restaurant with their own wine. How to serve it, how to recork it, and that boxed wine doesn’t need to be recorked.
Yes, that’s right. Boxed wine. Let me say that again so it really sinks in: Boxed Wine. Boxed. Wine. Roll it around your mouth just to get a good feel for it. Wine. Box. Boxed. Wine. BoxedWine.
Yeah, beer has to be kept at the gates because it’s not as good as a fine wine, but that 3L box of pure grape goodness known as “Toscano Rosso“? Bring in it, dear sir, but I’m afraid you’ll have to leave that bottle of Central City Thor’s Hammer at home! Why? Because we have standards, my good man!
Again, you heard it straight from the LCLB my friends: Fuck beer.