A Window To (Cheap) Wine
A few weeks have gone by since I last updated the ol’ LDB website wine counter, so let’s see where we stand as of today:
Liquor: 4 (+2)
Corporate: 5 (+3)
Wine: 12 (+2)
Beer: 0 (+0)
Raise your hand if any of this surprises you. One of those corporate ads is for the fall issue of the BC LDB’s Taste Magazine, which is basically 196 pages of LDB ads for booze stuffed between alcohol manufacturer ads for booze. Maybe they’ve hidden all the beer suggestions in there? Well, let’s see.
In those 196 pages of recipes, insipid articles and Ads Ads Ads! there are recommendations from various folk at the LDB for a total of 181 different products. Wow that’s a lot, but how do they break down into the LDB’s three booze categories? You won’t be too surprised:
Wine: 146
Spirits: 34
Beer: 1
Hey, at least we made the list! This particular beer recommendation was for Kingfisher because Diwali is coming up, and Kingfisher is brewed in India, right? Somehow I think the intern they hired to do these searches didn’t get the memo about beer (also, Kingfisher–a Pale Lager–was listed as a pairing for Vij’s Curry. Think about that for a second).
Because nothing pairs better with flavourful hot curry than tasteless yellow water.
Okay, fine, but it’s not like they had other articles on food that bring beer to mind, right? What? A section about pumpkins? And another titled “ancient grains.” Are they actually trying to piss me off?
Okay. Different tact. Maybe I’m being too much of an ass about this? Maybe completely screwing over the beer industry is just how business is done if you’re the provincial government arm responsible for selling liquor in your province? I mean, go look at the Autumn 2012 issue of the Liquor Control Board of Ontario’s “Food & Drink” magazine. There’s nothing about beer in there… huh… you don’t say? A feature on Ottawa’s Wellington GastroPub, as part of a dedicated column called Pub Bites? (I’d love to link to it, but sadly it’s a paid subscription)
So, again we’re faced with overwhelming bias against beer when it comes time to show off products at the LDB. I wish I could explain what’s going on here. It’d be natural to just say the people doing the product recommendations at the LDB are just wine snobs, but they clearly are not. Have you actually SEEN the wine they’re recommending with these ads? Let’s just say they’re “value priced” and leave it at that.
Oh yeeeaahh! It’s time to get DRUNK! WOOOOOO!!!! Seriously, though, serve this to when I come over and I will stab you in the fucking neck. I am not kidding.