Barley Mowat 

East Beats West

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Have you ever felt so confident of yourself going into a test, or an interview, or a parole hearing, that you almost felt the whole thing to be a pointless waste of your valuable time? Let’s just rubber stamp this thing and get me into a half-way house! Then suddenly, and shockingly, the judge doesn’t believe your story about Jake the Snake accidentally falling on your shiv in the shower and bam!: 2 more years.


What?! This is CLEARLY a toothpick!

You feel shock. You feel confusion. You feel regret, and–above all–you definitely feel like cutting Jake open belly-button to throat. Fucking squealer.

I felt this way last weekend. The dominance of my West vs East showdown was all but assured. Sure, Hopnotist was not quite the Pliny the Elder or Ballast Point Sculpin I was hoping for, but damn that beer is still great. It was a moot point, though, because the battle would be over before we even stripped the 3D glasses off the bottle to inspect the only slightly-3D label.

It was not to be. East won. Not only did East win, but East beat my sure thing. East took down Cascade Vlad the Impaler, and I was left stunned. Oh well, better luck next time, I suppose.

Here’s the winners, round by round, and my take on each of the East Coast beers. For my take on the West Coast contenders, or Jer’s original take on the East-siders, check out my intro post.

Round 1 Yeast
East Beer Captain Lawrence Rosso e Marrone
West Beer Cascade Vlad the Imp Aler 2011
Decision 3-1 vote for Captain Lawrence
Chuck Says Make no mistake, Cpt Lawrence is about the best Oud Bruin I’ve ever had. Smooth complexity breaks through to a mild astringency with a leathery finish on the palate. Low carb adds to the finish. The grapes add a further depth and vinous quality that makes this guy world class.

Is it better than Vlad? No way. Vlad has a million bright fruit and sour flavours rushing at you at the speed of awesome. The high carb takes those flavours and jabs you in the eyes with them until your blinded by funky tastes but you just don’t care. Democracy sucks.

Round 2 Barley
East Beer Evil Twin Even More Jesus
West Beer Hair of the Dog Adam Batch 88
Decision 4-0 vote for Hair of the Dog
Chuck Says I liked Even More Jesus. Not a bad Impy Stout at all, but also not one of the best I’ve ever had. Heck, Singularity 2011 at the next night’s Driftwood vertical was better, IMHO. Adam, on the other hand, was described by more than one person as “perfect.” No contest.
Round 3 Hops
East Beer Maine Brew Company MO
West Beer Parallel 49 Hopnotist
Decision 4-0 vote for Maine
Chuck Says Speaking of no contest… Hopnotist wasn’t my first choice and Maine wasn’t Jer’s first choice. I don’t know why this is the case, though, because this beer was astoundingly good. This isn’t a Pale Ale like it says on the bottle. This is a big, floral, massive hop bomb that somehow still manages to bring a great malt character to the party. Wow. Colour me impressed.

For its part, the Hopnotist had lost much of the hops aroma that I loved about it at first. If it were fully intact, though, the Maine still would have won.

And there you have. That’s how the West… lost? Fuck. On the upside, though, at least I got to drink six really awesome beers… after drinking ten awesome beers… and then twelve more… it was an interesting weekend, to say the least.


Pictured: Best Coast Trophy before I accidentally dropped it in the fire. Oh yeah? I frankly don’t care that you don’t believe me.

Written by chuck

August 1st, 2013 at 4:00 pm

Posted in Beer and You

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