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Why does East keep beating West?

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Shame. It comes at you in waves. First, you try and deflect it or deny it. Then you get angry. Why did this happen to me? Who hates me so much? What did I do to them?

Eventually, though, the pain ebbs and the reality sinks in. You fucked up. Again. East beats West, and now all we can do is reconstruct the pieces and ask ourselves Why? Why did Chuck let this happen? Again?

Well, there’s no easy answer to that. I put three very good beers on the table, but Jer put three ever-so-slightly better beers on the same table. What’s important, though, is that we drank the beers, on a patio, by the ocean.

Here’s the blow by blow.

Round 1 Yeast
East Beer Grimm Ales Bees in the Trappe
West Beer Logsdon Peche ‘n Brett 2014
Decision 3-3 tie
Chuck Says I voted for the Logsdon. It was a beer displaying perfect delicate balance between sour and sweet, like a refreshing summer’s day. The Grimm was a very good beer, but in the end I felt the intriguing Belgian-meets-Mead approach to be, well, not perfect.

Round 2 Malt
East Beer Evil Twin Imperial Biscotti Break
West Beer Lighthouse Belgian Black 2013
Decision 4-2 vote for Evil Twin
Chuck Says I had hoped that the pirate beer from Lighthouse would be pouring perfectly, as it has been recently, boy was it. Beautiful malt accentuated by a lovely Belgian yeast and esters. Complex, beautiful, and graceful like a sailboat in full flight.

Then I had a sip of the Imperial Biscotti Break and realized that I’d brought a freaking sailboat to a drag race. Evil Twin makes some great Imperial Stouts, and this is one of them. Gimicky ingredients aside, the heavily roasted malt balanced out the syrupy sweetness perfectly.

The Black was just behind Biscotti in mind, but then committed the double fault of inheriting its awesomeness from malt and yeast, whereas the Biscotti was a purely awesome display of malt prowess. I voted for ET.

Round 3 Hops
East Beer Other Half Green Diamonds
West Beer Central City IPA
Decision 4-2 vote for Other Half
Chuck Says Contention! I strongly disagreed with the crowd vote here. To me, the Other Half was a B-level DIPA. While I did love the strong Aussie hops, they weren’t integrated into the beer well, and the very thin mouthfeel made the relatively modest 8.6% ABV seem like a much harsher >10%. B-level is still a pretty good beer, but it’s not coast-winning

The CC IPA was pouring as good as it ever has, and it did just win a blind three-IPA tasting that afternoon against Fat Tug and Four Winds IPA. Democracy is a sham.

There ya have it. The East Coast takes the trophy back to their Brooklyn river-front loft for a second straight year. Oh well, I didn’t have a spot on my wall for it anyways.

Written by chuck

July 31st, 2014 at 3:48 pm

Posted in Beer and You

Beer Fight: East vs West Round Two

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Last year, I sat down at a table with my good buddy Jer, and we drank beer. What made this time unusual, though, was that we were critically analyzing six beers to see which coast of North America produced the best oat soda.

The combatants were from a variety of must-have breweries: Hair of the Dog, Maine, Captain Lawrence, Parallel 49, Cascade Barrel House and Evil Twin all made an appearance, but sadly East took the title 2-1. Tables were flipped, fires were started, punches were thrown and I’ve been informed that I may have pulled a knife. I have vague memories of a brief hostage taking, as well. All in all, I think I took it pretty well.

Another summer brings another beach retreat, and another beach retreat beings another round of East vs West. Will Jer retain his shoddily made driftwood trophy? Will I triumph and accept it as gracefully as I am wont to do? Only time will tell.

First up, though, the contenders:


I was humbled last year. West is best but the evidence was quite clearly in my mouth. I couldn’t believe it. This time, I’m going in less cocky and with more safety. Instead of trusting my two month old IPA to be great, I’m taste testing three local competitors the day-of to ensure only the freshest IPA gets in.

As well, I’m digging into the cellar and upping my BC representation to a solid 2/3. Let’s do this.

Lighthouse Belgian Black (2013)
Belgian Strong – 9.0%
Ratebeer: 97;95

Batch two of Dean’s best beer ever is drinking pretty much perfectly right now, and I’ve been keeping a select few in my cellar just waiting for a moment like this to happen. Time to bust one open and let the world know about it.

Logsdon Peche n Brett (2014)
Sour/Wild Ale – 10%
Ratebeer: 100;99

Okay, I didn’t have a bottle of my own to contribute to the cause. In fact, I had to pull in some favours to even get this. Okay fine, I had to pull more than favours. At night. In an alley. I’m a whore paid in beer, is what I’m saying. It’ll be worth it though, as this is one of the best beers ever made by a brewery not exactly known for making shitty beer.

Central City Red Racer IPA
India Pale Ale – 6.5%
Ratebeer: 99;99

Knowing that great hoppy IPAs live and die by how fresh their hops are, I put Driftwood Fat Tug, Central City Red Race IPA and newcomer Four Winds IPA to a blind taste test and choose the winner. The winner was Central City, by a country mile. This could be a factor of the beer simply being fresher, or maybe that shiny new, state of the art brewery with all its fancy quality control has something to do with this.


After winning a contest I didn’t expect to win last year, I decided to make it even harder on myself this time by restricting my picks to beers from NYC. So, though I’m bringing along some nice beers from Maine (Lunch) and Maryland (Stillwater), all three of my picks are from brewers in the 5 boroughs. Actually, all three are from brewers in Brooklyn. NYC has a brewing scene in its infancy, so it wasn’t easy picking, but I think I’m representing strongly.

Evil Twin Imperial Biscotti Break
Imperial Stout – 9.8%
Ratebeer: 100;100

Last year I lost this category with Even More Jesus. I’m pretty sure I’m just going to bring another Evil Twin beer until one actually wins, because I’m stubborn, and because they have SUCH GOOD NAMES. Also, there’s apart of me which believes that drinking ET beers will magically summon a portal to Luksus, which would be pretty excellent. I made a game time decision between this and Love you With My Stout. We’ll see how it plays out.

Grimm Ales Bees in the Trappe
Bier au Miele – 8%
Ratebeer: 82;74

Grimm is a gypsy brewery from Brooklyn. Their beers are consistently interesting and well-brewed. This one is a Tripel, brewed with honey. Largely I picked this one because it’s super small-batch, and it’s something that no one out here will likely get the chance to try. It’s the underdog of the lot, for sure.

Other Half Green Diamonds
American Double – 8.6%
Ratebeer: 89;47

Other Half is the best new brewery in America, and Green Diamonds is their best beer. This is a resinous double in the vein of Heady Topper. Brewed with Golden Promise malt and Australian Galaxy hops. The only risk here is that the growler I brought is showing its age, but it was counter-pressure filled and I’ve kept it cold, so… fingers crossed.

How did it all play out? Tune in later this evening on Twitter, or later this week right here for the results.

Written by chuck

July 28th, 2014 at 5:46 pm

Posted in Beer and You

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Giant Glasses and Tiny Beers

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There’s been a lot of talk recently about the chronic short-pouring that occurs in the Vancouver bar scene. From CAMRA Vancouver‘s rather public Twitter shaming of craft beer bars to the Vancouver Sun‘s (slightly) more scientific survey of a variety of pubs, craft or not.

The results? Yes, pubs are short pouring and yes, it’s a widespread issue. When you consider the absolute, letter of the law on the matter, ordering 20oz of beer must net you a glass that contains no less than 19.5oz of actual liquid beer. Given appropriate head levels for properly poured beer, that basically means that it’s not possible to fulfil a beer order in the same sized glass as the volume of beer advertised (aka 20oz of beer cannot be properly served in a 20oz glass).

However, having said all that, I think this whole glass-vs-pour size thing is a distraction. Most bars are not short pouring to increase profits, but rather incidentally are short pouring due to a variety of other factors: common industry practice, competitive pressure around advertised size, etc.

Yes, it’s not legal and yes, pubs should all get on board but, deep down, most pubs weren’t truly aiming to rip the consumer off.

Well, any more than usual.

Say you run a pub. Say a keg costs you $200 to buy and holds 120 14.5oz pours of beer. Now say you want to make a (perfectly reasonable) 150% gross profit on that beer, before expenses. You’ll sell that 14.5oz of beer for ~$4.25. Hey, running a bar ain’t cheap.

Slide over to the pub next door, and they’re selling a real pour of 16oz, but still paying $200 to get that same keg. Only now it holds 110 pours because they’re actually serving 16oz of beer. In order to stay open, though, the gross margin still needs to be 150%, so they sell that sleeve for ~$4.50.

A third pub, for whatever reason, sells their 16oz real pour for $5.00. Maybe they have a view. Maybe they’re all fancy-like and clean their glassware between uses. Who knows. The result is ~175% gross margin, but the short pour level of 0% shows that they’re not cheating you, they’re just expensive.

However, go to the next pub down the line and the real motivation in advertising a larger pour is to gouge the clients. In this case, that 14.5oz pour is listed as “16oz” on the menu and priced at the same $4.50 as the real 16oz down the street. Bam, that’s 170% of gross profit, and that combination of short pour and high profit margin becomes a tell.

Those of you who’ve read my blog for a while know where I’m going with this. If I had a list of short pour levels plus price levels for a variety of pubs I could then find the ones that are actually ripping off clients. So, I took the Vancouver Sun’s reported pint pour sizes, pint prices, and researched the raw cost for the beers they’re serving. I then applied the magic that is mathematics to see if the short pouring bars split out into two groups: those that short pour without profit increases in mind and those that do.

The result? Yup, they do. The folks that short pour for reasons other than deceiving their clients have almost no correlation between short pour levels and profit. However, a different group emerges from the numbers; a group that has quite a strong correlation between the level of short pour and profit. Strip out the bars with zero correlation between pour size and profit and you get this graph of short pour percentage vs profit margin.

y = 0.1x for those following along at home

Basically, the trend is that for every 10% of a short pour (e.g. 18oz instead of 20oz) these bars’ profits go up 100%. That guy on the top? Shortpouring 30% for over 300% gross profit margin. Note that there were other bars with 300% margin. However they were selling you what they advertised and, as such, I don’t consider them dishonest, just expensive. All told, though, just under 50% of the bars surveyed by the Sun wound up fitting the trend line very nicely.

Next up, I took it a step farther. If there’s an entire sub-section of the pub industry dedicated to ripping off clients via short pours, wouldn’t it reason to follow that there’s a support industry out there? I mean, they’re not simply selling you 14oz in a 20oz glass and hoping you won’t notice. Nor are they placing a 14oz glass in front of you and banking on you shutting up and taking it. Nope, they’re using deliberately misleading glassware.

On the top is the standard “shaker vs sleeve” debate. One of those glasses holds 16oz while the other holds 14.5oz. You can tell the difference by looking at the bottom. This, plus a 16oz sleeve being delivered when a pint is ordered, is what you’re most likely to run into in the wild.

The bottom, though, is a singular piece of mastery. Meet the Anchor Hocking 1170U. This monster of a glass is praised for its large size, its heavy weight in the hand and, above all, its ability to help with both “portion control” and “profits.”

Oh, you thought they’d call it “helps you rip off customers?” Nope. When you’re dishonest, you need a euphemism to hide behind, and the dishonest pub has latched onto “portion control.” That monster glass? It holds 10oz. 10 freaking ounces. In a glass you could knock out a horse with. Those divots on the bottom deliberately hide the fact that the bottom inch of this sucker is pure glass. Those sharp angles likewise conceal just how thick the glass is on the side. There is only one possible reason to make a glass in this fashion, and it’s not about being fair.

Don’t worry about being limited to 10oz, though; they almost make virtually identical glassware in 16oz, 14oz, and 12oz. Same height, width, style, and weight (when full of beer). They don’t specifically say so, but these glasses are basically designed to enable slowly lowering pour size as your patrons get drunker so as to maximize profits/fraud.

Forget the glass vs pour size debate. Education will solve that on all sides. It’s these bastards we need to go after.

Written by chuck

July 23rd, 2014 at 3:04 pm

Posted in Bars,Beer and You