Happy Sportball Day! No doubt everyone within your eyesight is pouring cheap liquor down their throats and enjoying an afternoon full of FOOTBALL! I’m not sure why you have to yell FOOTBALL! every time you say it on Superbowl Sunday, but you just do. FOOTBALL!
In any event, while pretty much everyone out there is getting all liquidated, I’m embarking on an entirely different path. No, no, no. I’m not doing one of those no-beer-month things that everyone tries once or twice before declaring Fuck That Noise and abandoning the concept. Nope, I’m doing something much more… interesting.
You see, I’ve vowed to live February in strict adherence to Canada’s Low-Risk Alcohol Guidelines, as established by the Canadian Centre for Substance Abuse. Now, I know what you’re thinking: a government research institute titled the “Canadian Centre for Substance Abuse” must just be a non-stop John Belushi-themed party, right? Well, no. Turns out they’re all a bunch of fucking downers.
Despite my initial beliefs, their guidelines for alcohol consumption are not actually modelled on the average day of Hunter S Thompson but more on the aspirational intentions of Debbie Downer (I say aspirational because, despite outward pretences, Ms Downer is actually hardcore into the horse).
So what are these guidelines? You can look yourself, but why bother going over there and reading some egghead rules on alcohol consumption when you can just trust me to list them out for you. So here goes:
1/ For men, 15 drinks max a week. For women, 10.
2/ Daily limit of 3 drinks for men, 2 for women.
3/ If you’re really tying one on (aka “special occasions”) limit yourself to 4 drinks for men, 3 for women.
4/ When drinking, don’t consume more than 2 drinks in any given three hour period.
5/ Have two non-drinking days per week.
6/ For every alcoholic drink, have a non-alcoholic drink.
These all seem fairly reasonable on the surface. I mean, sure we occasionally just cut loose, but a limit of 4 pints in a day doesn’t seem too conservative. Oh wait. Those are “standard drinks” or, in beer terms, “12 ounces of 5.0%ABV ale.” Yeah, if those pints are Fat Tug you sailed past your daily “special occasion” limit 2/3 of the way through pint number 2.
In fact, at 2.33 standard drinks per pint, even if I really wanted a pint of Fat Tug I’d need to nurse that pint over three whole hours because of rule #4. Rule #4, in fact, means that I will have to consume liquor slower than my body metabolizes it. Yup, for February I’m everyone’s DD, because strict adherence to these rules mean I cannot actually be drunk at any point this month. Yay me.
So yeah, I’m doing this thing. I’ll update throughout February on how well I’m doing (anyone got an over/under on my first violation?), as well as provide some insight into why these rules have been set at the levels they’re at. I get the feeling this will be a rough month.
Okay, fine, I haven’t updated the beer 411 column on the right in quite a while (and now it’s gone). Maybe I just wanted to leave my beloved beer up in the lime light for as long as possible, or maybe I’m a lazy ass. It can be both things, right?
Well, leave it to Four Winds to jolt me into action. Sure, Saison Brett came out a few months ago and it was great, but meh, that’s old hat; we’d seen SB before. This week, though, they go and drop the long rumoured Nectarous bottle release on us.
Nectarous is one of those beers that the beererati have been talking about so long it’s almost become mythical. There was a sample batch released in small quantities last spring, and then it had occasional sightings at the brewery tasting room, but it never did show up in bottled form. All we had to go on was breathless reports of an amazing sour being developed south of the Fraser but, by the time we hired sherpas and found our way out there, it was gone.
Well, it’s here now, and as my mono-syllabic Untappd review hints, it’s freaking amazing. This is a world-class sour, folks, and you’d be a bloody idiot not to march into your nearest private liquor store and carry out as much as your body allows.
2015 isn’t a month old, and we already have a strong contender for beer of the year. However, there’s a chance this could just be the start. If the rumours I’m hearing about a never-ending parade of sours coming to BC this year are to be believed, we’re in for a hell of a 12 months.
UPDATE: I have been informed that this beer actually contains no fruit. All the fruity juiciness and esters are purely a product of the yeast and bacteria. While I’ve definitely had fruitless fruity sours previously, I would have bet damn good money on this guy having the real deal in it. That only makes this beer even more amazing.
Pours opaque orange/yellow with a tight, long lasting head.
Nectarine and peach, with a hint of tartness in the back balanced by lemon peel. Is that kiwi/jackfruit from the hops?
Wow. Perfect balance between the sweetness of the fruit, the yeast funk, the tartness/acidity/lemon and the hops. Where does the peach/nectarine end and the Galaxy hops start? Beautiful.
5.5% ABV / 15 IBU / Fruit Sour
Are you mad? Do you breath? Is life worth living?
Wow. So that happened. I, for one, didn’t see it coming; not even a little. But, rather than getting all picky about who killed whom, let’s just all take a deep breath and learn our lesson. When someone shows up at a party with a frothy container of liquid, it’s very important to not just assume the liquid is barely fermented ale. It’s important to consider that maybe, just maybe, it’s actually an ungodly amount of ayahuasca. That’s a Barley Mowat Pro Tip, right there.
Right, moving on. It’s that time of year again. Time to reflect upon the year that was, and hand out recognition to the few, the proud, the bearded. Yup, it’s time for the 2014 Annual Barley Mowat Excellence in Beer Awards, aka the Beerdies.
Unlike some other blogs out there, I don’t hand out annual awards based on popular votes. No siree. You see, people are fucking morons. Run a poll on your blog for a few weeks and you’ll wind up handing Granville Island Brewing a Gold Medal for the liquid vanilla-in-a-bottle what is Lions Winter Ale. This is proof that democracy just plain doesn’t work.
What we have over here at BarleyMowat.com is a classic, functional dictatorship. I try all the beers, tell you about them, then you go buy them, and then you agree with me by telling me how awesome I am. That’s our relationship and frankly I think it’s working for us. So, without further adieu, let’s get to it!
Finally someone pushes Driftwood from their reign of terror over my beer expenses. What change did Josh and Dave implement to tip the scales? Sandwiches. Yeah, I know. That’s pretty sad, but it’s the truth. If you want Chuck to consistently wander into your brewery and slap down money, don’t brew good beer. Instead, offer up tasty (and reasonably healthy) sandwiches in a convenient location forty feet from his day job. Damn I loves me some sandwiches.
I don’t mean “hot” as in great. I mean “hot” as in every brewery has one these days. Even recently opened Strange Fellows is getting hard to get into these days, and you might as well forget about Brassneck (I encountered a lineup there at 4pm on a weekday). Where did all these craft beer nerds come from? Half of them don’t even have beards! (edit: I have since been informed that these are “women”)
With all the new breweries opening, the local focus has been on establishing solidly brewed main beer lineups, not seasonals. The few breweries that do have steady seasonal lineups have either stagnated innovation-wise (Driftwood, Granville Island, Four Winds), failed to really hit a winner (Dead Frog), or shat the bed quality-wise (Parallel 49). With the landscape being what it is, I’m taking my ball and going home.
You can’t start a brewery these days without a barrel program, end of story. Walk into any of the newer facilities and what do you see? Barrel stacks, and I don’t mean one or two barrels here or there, I mean massive stacks of oak all lined up to make awesome beer. In a couple of years we’ll be wading in sours, people!
I’m going to break from tradition here and not just automatically hand this one out to Nigel. Sure, Nigel’s still the best, but his trophy cabinet is pretty full and I don’t want him to have to buy a new one. That’s floor space he could use for another foeder.
Instead, I’m going to give the nod here to Aaron Jonckheere. He’s half the team behind the just-opened Strange Fellows, but I’ve been talking to Aaron for over a year about his trials, concerns, and hopes. He hasn’t limited his sharing to me but, rather, has engaged everyone he could find as well as sharing his story on his own blog: I’m Starting A Craft Brewery. Sure, there’s a bit of clever marketing going on there, but also a genuine desire to make starting a brewery in BC easier. That’s very Nigel of you, Aaron.
When you’re lying on your back in a ditch, all you can see is stars. What the folks who wrote that aspirational quote failed to mention is that, 99 times out of 100, instead of reaching for the stars you just go out and re-do whatever it was that put you in the ditch in the first place.
Turning Point, on the other hand, has taken that first step towards crawling out of said ditch. They’re wet, sick and covered in composting garbage but, hey, they can almost see the road.
Okay, enough tortured metaphor. What I’m saying is that their beer used to be undrinkably insipid but now it’s almost not bad. Between Wind Storm and their Wit, the beer has improved drastically and the marketing, while still the target of a good chunk of my beer nerd rage, has at least toned down the absurd not-quite-lies that spoke to unscrupulous profit-driven motivations.
Well this one was easy. Not only is Yellow Dog hands-down the best new brewery of 2014, but they’re making a serious run at best brewery in BC, period. Their smoked porter won Best in Show at the BC Beer Awards, and frankly I think their IPA is health-destroyingly great. Combine that with targeted taunts about an upcoming sour and I get all tingly feeling.
Add to that mix what is probably the best tasting room experience in the province and you have a winning combination. Congrats, guys!
And now, the grand prize of the 2014 Beerdies (aka the Golden Beerdie):
I was rightly chided for missing Dave during last year’s awards but, let’s face facts: I don’t get over to the island very often and I could be forgiven for forgetting about Dave. Well, Dave met me half way this year. Seriously, his beer now extends most of the way across the straight.
Way to grow hair, Dave!