Barley Mowat 

A CAMRA card isn’t just a form of elitist ID that gains you access to the very upper echelons of society. Oh no, it also gets you special treatment at any number of high end establishments all around town. And by “special” I mean “the same as everyone else, only slightly cheaper.” It’s true, have a look.

And that list isn’t even complete. There are a few liquor stores missing (like Viti), and definitely a few establishments (like Sharkey’s), although I expect the PHP error barfed in the middle of the page might have something to do with that. But, whatever, PHP is hard and the site admins have drinking to do!

A cat sys admin is a lot less cute when you realize the cat has been pissed since, like, 8am.

Usually when I show people that list I get a confused look back, and then the question: “Wait… you get 10% off BEER? At a liquor store?” They get the restaurant discount (sorta), but the discount on booze at LRSs flummoxes them completely. It took me a while to get used to the idea myself, but happily yes, several stores that carry good beer have decided the exposure they get via CAMRA is worth 10%, in addition to deciding that CAMRA is an organization worthy of their support.

Also, it should be noted that a CAMRA buyer is an educated and high value buyer. This is not a person who will give your store the shaft to save $2 on a 12-er of Corona. That guy is a jerk. In addition to buying elsewhere based on price alone, he doesn’t even have enough common decency to buy a high margin beer. The margin on Corona is less than 10% precisely because these guys are so price sensitive. But our CAMRA guy isn’t.

No siree, a CAMRA buyer is a person that will purchase 6 bottles of high-end beer at $10-$20 per bottle, and then come back next week to do it again. You want this person in your store as often as possible, even if you have to give them 10% off.

Sure, you’re not making as much on that bottle of Central City Double IPA from the CAMRA guy as you do from the next bastard buying that same bottle, but the CAMRA guy also bought 5 more bottles. Even if the profit on the bottle is lower, the profit per transaction is higher. And so long as your product keeps moving out the door you don’t have to worry too much about inventory. Also, Mr CAMRA might have grabbed some of that $30 Deschutes Stoic you’ve been having trouble moving.

So, it’s all good, right? The store gets more profit and can stock more interesting beer without worrying about it stealing shelf space, and our fictional bearded CAMRA guy can buy lots of interesting beer and write about it on his blog. Win/win.

Well, it’s fine and good until Corona-guy stands behind Mr CAMRA and sees him getting 10% off his beer purchase. Next week when Señor Corona buys his shitty beer and a bag of skunk-reducing limes, he’s brandishing a brand new CAMRA card and asking for that sub-10% profit margin on his awful alco-pop to be dropped straight into loss territory.

And then this happens.

The first time I saw this sign at Viti I thought it was a bit of a joke until manager Ralf told me that this is exactly what has been happening*. I was shocked to hear this had been happening, but ultimately not very surprised when I thought about it. To be clear: I 100% support Viti limiting the discount to craft beer. Heck, I even suggested that they confiscate offenders’ membership cards.

The trick, though, is what IS craft beer? Yeah, we can all agree that those brands are not craft, but what about other very large brewers? What about Guinness? Leffe? Chimay? Granville Island? Some of those are pretty big breweries producing mass market beers.

Each store can come up with their own list, and we could decide if the store had gone too far by voting with our wallets, but perhaps CAMRA should create an exception list for membership discounts? Because let’s face it, if you’re buying Molson you probably shouldn’t have the card in the first place.

* Aside from the margin numbers. Those smell like ass because that’s where I pulled the numbers out of. Well, they’re not entirely made up; they are a decent guestimate based off my experience with importer and LRS pricing.

Ha! Bet you thought I’d miss this deadline as well, eh? Well, shame on you for doubting The Chuck. And shame on me for using the definite article for my name. I should know better, yet I somehow don’t.

Continuing the theme from the previous two BOTMs, I have selected a double IPA for October. But what a double IPA this is! Phillips Brewing recently turned 10 years old, and to celebrate they released a special Imperial IPA which clocks in at, coincidentally, 10% ABV.

What’s it like? I have no idea. You see, those whacky islanders over at Phillips elected to make the release ultra special by saving on packaging and releasing the brew in a Jeroboam, which is 3 litres in size for those of you not up on your bottle size names and/or Biblical scholarship. The result is a monster of a beer, which cannot be capped once let loose due to being corked. And thus the prospect of drinking this beer scares me.

Please note that SINGULARITY is looking like the safer beer to drink.
Seriously, though, drinking this beer solo will likely kill you.

Thus I’m making this beer BOTM solely for packaging. Oh, I’m sure it contains a decent DIPA, although perhaps not as great as Driftwood or Central City’s offerings. A cynical bastard could actually say that I’m just handing them the nod for releasing a large amount of beer in a single container, then question why I’m not rewarding the Heineken Party Keg which, at 5 litres, has to be 67% better, no?

The difference is that large format bottles are intended to facilitate long term cellaring without wasted space. Sure, Imperial IPAs cellar about as well as sliced apples, but perhaps Phillips dropping a Jeroboam on the market to critical acclaim is the baby step needed to convince other brewers to follow suit. Perhaps this will inspire Driftwood to drop Spring Rite into a Methuselah or Nebuchadnezzar next year.

But before that can happen, someone has to have the foresight to be first. And that honour goes to Phillips.

Where to get it: At last check, Viti had one on their counter intimidating people at the checkout. Unsure of anyone else.

How other beers view the 10th Anniversary
Especially Woolly Bugger.